Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 24)

He could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer.

Miscellaneous

I'd hire her to haunt a house!

Appearance Miscellaneous Ugly

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

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I organized my stuff and put it in boxes… then I put labels on each of the boxes; now I have a box full of razor blades labeled “Plan B.”

American comedian
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Nobody here but us chickens.

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A lot of times when you first start out on a project you think: this is never going to be finished, but then it is, and you think: Wow, it wasn’t even worth it.

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He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection; I guess that’s what I hated about him.

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He looks like he got beat with a ugly stick.

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He’s so ugly, he’d stop an eight-day clock.

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If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

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Oprah Winfrey has named her new $51 million estate ‘Tara 2,’ after Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation in Gone With The Wind; meanwhile, Sally Jessy Raphael has named her new estate Apartment 4B.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
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Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the stilts? … it probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.

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Useless as tits on a boar hog

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Empty as a winter rain barrel.

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It’s raining so hard the animals are starting to pair up.

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Have to piss like a Russian race horse.

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You’re like the dog that caught the car.

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Don’t judge someone until they have tossed your salad.

(1954 – ) American actor & singer
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Madder than’ a wampus cat

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He’s so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

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Hangin’ in there like a hair in a biscuit.

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