Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 24)

Go hog wild

Miscellaneous

He was so slick he could steal the sweet from sugar without touching a grain

Miscellaneous

As scarce as hens teeth.

Miscellaneous

Her butt is as wide as a corn picker.

Miscellaneous

Forty eleven

Miscellaneous

Like a two-forty trot

Miscellaneous

The damned thing works!

(1906 – 1971) American inventor & television pioneer
Miscellaneous

Good intentions are invariably ungrammatical.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Miscellaneous

It's hotter than the four sides of Hell.

Miscellaneous

You’d walk her down the front row of a revival meeting.

Miscellaneous

If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I’d glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised… “Wait a minute! I thought WE won!”

Miscellaneous

Busier than a cross eyed cranberry picker.

Miscellaneous

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

Miscellaneous

Seen better legs on a table.

Miscellaneous

Toward the end of the Stone Age I bet there was already a feeling that metal was just around the corner.

Miscellaneous

He’s so ugly he has to slap himself to sleep.

Miscellaneous

You'll go to hell for lyin' just as fast as fer stealin' chickens.

Miscellaneous

Were you raised in a barn?

Miscellaneous

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven; It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmm, boy.

Miscellaneous

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

Miscellaneous

People need to realize that every time they talk about how “fragile” our planet is, it’s just like asking outer-space aliens to come invade us.

Miscellaneous