Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 25)

We don’t air our dirty laundry out in public.

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The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!

(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor
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Peter Marshall: Paul, is there such a thing as a female rooster?

Paul Lynde: Yeah, they're the ones who just go "a doodle doo!"

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Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!

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Shut the light.

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Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta, grow up.

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Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

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Peter Marshall: Rich, what land animal has the largest eyes?

Rich Little: [doing his impersonation of her] Why, that would be Carol Channing!

(1938 – ) Canadian-American impressionist & voice actor
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He lives in your neck of the woods.

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A trace of the uppity

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That gumbo will make a Chihuahua break a chain.

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Mites stay on a chicken’s ass.

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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
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I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat.

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With every new sunrise, there is a new chance; but with every sunset, you blew it.

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It’s fascinating to think that all around us there’s an invisible world we can’t even see. I’m speaking, of course, of the world of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

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Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

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Countrier than cornbread.

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She’d make a freight train take a dirt road.

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No one is ever warmed by wool pulled over his eyes.

writer
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What a bunch of potlickers

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