Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 29)

You need to dance with them what brung you.

Here’s a suggestion for a new animal; if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.

Laugh, clown, laugh; this is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

I'm gonna put knots on yor head faster than you can rub them.

Leanin' on the shovel

I don’t know her from Adam’s house cat.

Had to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dog would play with him.

People will be able to see to Christmas.

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

I suwanne.

He would steal the shitball from a blind tumblebug, give him a marble and put him on the wrong road home.

So dry he had the rattles

He’d have to get smarter… just to be stupid.

The Quotable A**hole

Wilder than a March hare

He could fall down walkin’ from the house to the barn.

Sometimes life seems like a dream… especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

I wanted to be that cranky old guy that stands on his porch and yells at the neighborhood kids.

(1928 – 1994) American actor

Instead of a bicycle built for two, what about no kinds of bicycles at all for anybody, anymore?… there, are you happy now?