Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 32)

He's gotta whole head full of simple.

Miscellaneous

So tight you can hear him squeak when he walks

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I expect them to come out… oh dear, I’d better not say fighting, had I?

Welsh football player, manager & coach
Miscellaneous

Fell down cup over kettle.

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Lay out of work or school

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I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

Miscellaneous

Girdler,  Kentucky

Miscellaneous

Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pine cone? … that way, he learns that ‘wishing’ isn’t going to save our national forests.

Miscellaneous

If a bird had his brains, he fly backwards.

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If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.

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I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

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(I Keep) Throwing Good Love After Bad

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Not being born to parents who were accountants was probably my biggest mistake.

British boxing champion
Boxing Miscellaneous Sports

Couldn't hit her in the butt with a red apple.

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Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

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Bank walker

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I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet.

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I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!

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What makes Teflon stick to the pan?

(1946 – ) American comedian
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares? … he’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
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I think it should be a law that if you ever get sucked up into a tornado, whatever you can grab with your hands while you’re swirling around up there, you get to keep.

Miscellaneous