Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 33)

I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous Wordplay

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Miscellaneous

You might as well play Hob with the hoe-handle!

Miscellaneous

In this adventure Harry will do battle with giant lizards, face the attack of the Death Eaters, and in perhaps the most difficult task of all for a 14-year-old, ask a girl to be his date at the Yule Ball.

Miscellaneous

Just cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

Miscellaneous

I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men, but the guilty never escape unscathed; my fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.

(1933 – ) American attorney
Lawyers Miscellaneous

I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

Miscellaneous

Pretty as you please

Miscellaneous

Short as a gnat's tail

Miscellaneous

Oooo weee… I see Christmas.

Miscellaneous

He is purse proud.

Miscellaneous

Nobody here but us chickens.

Miscellaneous

Here’s a suggestion for a new animal; if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

Miscellaneous

He lost his hat, ass, and spats!

Miscellaneous

I’ll knock you in the head and tell God you died.

Miscellaneous

It’s raining cats and dogs.

Miscellaneous

You’ve got the saw by the wrong tree.

Miscellaneous

Efficiency: The knack of getting somebody to do a job you don’t like.

Miscellaneous

Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad… and this is the time when he’s going to throw his best parties.

Miscellaneous

Not only was I not the best catcher in the major leagues, I wasn’t even the best catcher on my street.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Miscellaneous