Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 50)

I wouldn't trade you for a farm in Georgia.

Miscellaneous

I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.

Miscellaneous

You look like five miles of bad road.

Miscellaneous

Go off half-cocked

Miscellaneous

I think there is more wisdom in a single drop of rain than there is in all the books in all the libraries of the world… wait, not rain– super-concentrated brain juice.

Miscellaneous

She’d scare a haint up a thorn tree.

Miscellaneous

I'd rather pay his board than board him.

Miscellaneous

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous Wordplay

I don’t pay him no nevermind.

Miscellaneous

He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

Miscellaneous

Well, ain’t he just the tom-cat’s kitten?

Miscellaneous

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

Miscellaneous

I read that when the archaeologists dug down into the ancient cemetery, they found fragments of human bones! What kind of barbarians were these people, anyway?

Miscellaneous

Ain't that the berries!

Miscellaneous

Well when you go through a briar patch you don’t know which briar scratched you.

Miscellaneous

I used to carry a rabbit’s foot for luck… then it was a monkey’s paw.. now it’s a camel’s toe.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous

Probably one of the worst things about being a genie in a magic lamp is a little thing called “lamp stench.”

Miscellaneous

Sober as a judge

Miscellaneous

Slower than a Sunday afternoon.

Miscellaneous

If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Miscellaneous

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

Miscellaneous