Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 51)
Sweating like a whore in church.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Nervous
Other expressions
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I’d glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised… “Wait a minute! I thought WE won!”
Miscellaneous
Fee. Fi. Fo. Meh.
Rob Vaux
writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous
“Jack the Giant Slayer”
Klaus Toppmoller: hair like David Gower and dress sense like Austin Powers.
Jon Champion
British sports announcer
Miscellaneous
Describing a manager
I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.
Wade Stokan
Miscellaneous
Occupations
Psychics
Out of soap
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Poor
The ox is in the ditch.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
There is an emergency
Less chance than a snowball in Hell.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
LIttle chance
Other expressions
If they ever have a haunted house for dogs, I think a good display would be a bathtub full of soapy water.
Miscellaneous
Many people don’t realize that playing dead can help not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.
Miscellaneous
Doesn’t have a pot to piss in
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Is penniless
Other expressions
It’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have trouble with it.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
His face was all plowed up
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Creased and wrinkled
Face
Other expressions
She could eat watermelon through a chicken wire fence.
Country definition
Miscellaneous
Buck toothed
Other expressions
Madder than a hornet!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Angry
Other expressions
How long is a piece of string?
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
The unknown
Unpredictable
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
Miscellaneous
Crooked as a cork screw.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Dishonest
Other expressions
The water won’t clear till you get the hogs out of the creek.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Get your priorities in order
Other expressions
Treated him like a red-headed stepchild.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Treat poorly
Treated worse than other children in the family
Page 51 of 75
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