Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 63)

The sun don't shine on the same dog's tail/behind all the time.

Miscellaneous

… took a long dip in the ugly pond

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It's hotter than a pair of jumper cables at at redneck picnic.

Miscellaneous

Can't get blood from a turnip.

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Can’t hear thunder

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It’s comin’ down a toad-floater.

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Crooked as a snake's back.

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I've had an apple out of that bag.

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Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

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She came down the road like a Tennessee Walker.

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I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

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I wouldn't speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying a big lump of ice.

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Well, shut my mouth.

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He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.

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If it was raining soup, he'd be out in the yard with a fork.

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Being hugged by Diana Rigg is worth three sessions of chemotherapy.

(1921 – 2000) English Archbishop of Canterbury
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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

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Four Gotes,  Cambridgeshire, England

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Grandma, Show Us Your Tattoos

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Sittin' on the bedpost.

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The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires

Miscellaneous