Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 64)

Sleepier than a river coon

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Girl, you look so good I could take you home and sop you up with a biscuit.

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They say no one knows if we all see red the same way… except traffic cops.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
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Skinny as a bean pole.

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I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

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I’ve been to two goat ropin’s and a county fair and I ain’t seen nothin’ like this.

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Some folks say it was a miracle. St. Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the next pitch clean over the fence. Other folks say it was just a lucky swing.

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Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?

Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
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Well, shut my mouth.

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The old pool shooter had won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor. Sorry, he said with a smile.

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Klaus Toppmoller: hair like David Gower and dress sense like Austin Powers.

British sports announcer
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He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

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She's so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.

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I wanted wine, women and song… I got a drunk woman singing.

(1967 – ) English comedian
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I’ve been in Who’s Who, and I know what’s what, but it’ll be the first time I ever made the dictionary.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
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Where are all the Sour Patch parents?

American comedian
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Cathead biscuit

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It’s funny how two simple words, “I promise,” will stall people for a while.

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I’d like to see a guy tap-dancing so fast his legs actually broke, because it would finally establish a “tap barrier,” and we could move on from there.

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Go piss up a rope.

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Ernest Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party

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