Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 64)
Sometimes I think the so-called experts actually ARE experts.
Miscellaneous
Wild as a peach orchard hog.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Horny
Other expressions
Rambunctious
Randy
I've seen animals hurt worse than that get well.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Said to person eating a rare steak
If you are in trouble and told to go out and cut your own switch…don’t come back with a little one…that ain’t going to work for ya.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Switch
You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Ticks
That man ain't got the decency to die.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Bad
Meanness
Other expressions
She’d make a freight train take a dirt road.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Held his hind leg
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Was best man at his wedding
If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that’s what he’s getting.
Miscellaneous
I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.
Miscellaneous
“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.
Miscellaneous
The water was higher than a cat’s back.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Height
Other expressions
Count the people.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Don't take so much that everybody doesn't get some
Other expressions
He didn't get there on a paved road.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
On a dirt road
Other expressions
Rural
Don't call him a cowboy, till you've seen him ride.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Don't judge a book by its cover
Other expressions
He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A threat (usually to a child)
Other expressions
I’m going to paint your back porch red if you keep talkin like that!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A spanking
A threat
Other expressions
He looks like something the cat drug in and the dog wouldn't eat.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Looking worn out
Other expressions
Seen better legs on a table.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Legs
Other expressions
It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Very cold!
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