Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 66)

Fair to middlin’

Miscellaneous

He has enough money to burn a wet mule.

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In the marble orchard.

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If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.

Miscellaneous

Road Humps

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To me, clowns aren’t funny, they’re kind of scary; I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

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I am ashamed of confessing that I have nothing to confess.


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One time I don’t think you should listen to your body is when it says “I’m dead.”

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Klaus Toppmoller: hair like David Gower and dress sense like Austin Powers.

British sports announcer
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Will ya take on wood?

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She has a butt like a forty-dollar mule.

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I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

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So good it’ll make you smack yo mama.

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That land is so poor two red-headed women couldn’t raise a fuss on it.

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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

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Toward the end of the Stone Age I bet there was already a feeling that metal was just around the corner.

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I hope that when I die, people say about me, ‘Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.’

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Forty eleven

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A hangdog look

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He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.

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I think there is more wisdom in a single drop of rain than there is in all the books in all the libraries of the world… wait, not rain– super-concentrated brain juice.

Miscellaneous