Subject: People

You might be a redneck if… a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer Food/Drink People Rednecks

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Self

All decent people live beyond their incomes nowadays and those who aren’t respectable live beyond other peoples’.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Money People

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

(1868 – 1938) English humorist, editor, publisher & writer
People Time

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten; they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

(1930 – 1977) German teacher
Intelligence People

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Old People

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady… it sounds like a saddle horse.

(1929 – 1994) U.S. first lady, wife of John Fitzgerald Kennedy & book editor
People

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Men People

We just expressed our suffering differently as people; Blacks developed the blues… Jews complain… we just never thought of putting it to music.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People

I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well.

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Communication People

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of Kmart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks Things

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned…

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops People

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Things

If Bing Crosby was great, imagine how good Google Crosby would have been.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Wordplay

He's the type who will cut your throat behind your back.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Malaprops People

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

For three years everything was going great, and then she just upped and left me to find a guy who wouldn’t hit her.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
Girlfriends People Relationships