Subject: People (Page 15)

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

People

Nice guys finish first; if you don’t know that, then you don’t know where the finish line is.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
People

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day; I haven't had time for tobacco since.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Activities People Situations Women

He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
People

Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
People Self

It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Men People Speech Women

I was born in 1962… and the room next to me was 1963.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age People Self

You might be a redneck if… ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Government Law Marriage People Rednecks

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Future Men Past People Time Women

I really like a lot of the stuff they did; it's just, sometimes, their fans get on my nerves.

comedian
People

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Husbands Marriage People

What do you give a man who has everything… penicillin.

(1910 – 1995) American comedian & actor
People

You might be a redneck if… you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Anybody who hates dogs and children can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
People

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Intelligence People

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men People

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Characteristics People Self

It just never ceases to amaze me how little men have to do to be remembered; he just found a “not thing” and called dibs.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
Men People

Those who don’t study the past will repeat its errors; those who do study it will find OTHER ways to err.

Murphy’s Laws Past People Problems

There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.

(1933 – ) American telejournalist
People Situations