Subject: Sports » Football (Page 5)

Football is a fertility festival: eleven sperm trying to get into the egg; I feel sorry for the goalkeeper.

(1965 – ) Icelandic singer-songwriter
Football Sports

I'm gonna ask the Falcons for so much money they'll have to put me on layaway.

American football player
Football Money Sports

They're a little bit like money. You don't want to die with them and give them to your kids, so you might as well use them if you need them.

American football coach
Football Sports

 If you're a coach, NFL stands for "Not For Long."

professional football & TV commentator
Football Occupations Sports

I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier… him I keep.

professional football player
Football Sports

Maybe that will distract the Falcon quarterback.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Playing middle linebacker is like walking through a lion's cage in a three-piece porkchop suit.

professional football player
Football Sports

Place-kickers aren't footballers, they're hired feet.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Football Sports

Emotion disappears about the sixth time that guy hits you in the mouth and you realize those tears in your eyes are not because of dear old alma mater.

American football coach
Football Sports

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.

football broadcaster
Football Misspokements Sports

We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.

football coach
Football Malaprops Sports

Now that Im retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.

American football player
Football Sports

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

American football player & commentator
Football Sports

I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

professional football general manager
Football Misspokements Sports

Three things can happen when you put a [foot]ball in the air – and two of them are bad.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Football Sports

… when we came in at halftime we pulled off our socks and began putting iodine on the teeth marks in our legs.

American football player & coach
Football Sports

If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It’s about the same.

professional football player
Football Sports

There isn't anything wrong with winning ugly… as a matter of fact, there isn't anything wrong with being ugly – as long as you're successful.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

 He can be a great player in this league for a long time if he learns to say two words: I'm full.

professional football & TV commentator
Football Sports

Normally in Chicago, you always have some kind of weather.

Football Misspokements Science/Weather Sports