Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 112)
Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
Ken Brown
sports commentator
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
On golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open
The only way that Miami will beat Florida St. is if they outscore them.
'Beano' Cook
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football
Misspokements
Sports
He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
Lou Duva
(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing
Misspokements
Sports
On the training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota
We hate each other. People assume that we respect each other because we’re black. We don’t.
Georges Laraque
Canadian hockey player & commentator
Hockey
Sports
About Donald Brashear after they fought three seconds into a game
If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'
Derek Sanderson
Canadian hockey player
Conflict
Fights
Hockey
Sports
Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.
Bill Fitch
basketball coach
Basketball
Sports
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Lew Alcindor
My foot said go before my brain did.
J.R. Todd
top fuel drag racer
Auto racing
Sports
Explaining a red light foul during quarterfinals at Sonoma
He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf
Sports
Labor leader George Meany
I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional… then it was too late.
Steve Melnyk
American professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Success
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
Earl Weaver
(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball
Education
Learning
Sports
Also John Wooden
It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.
Unknown
Golf
Occupations
Sports
Work
Brain surgeons
If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.
John Madden
(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football
Misspokements
Sports
Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Stroke
You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.
Bob Feller
(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher
Baseball
Books
Communication
Sports
On his autobiography
Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Handicapped Golfer
He's a leading leader on this football team.
Bill Curry
American football coach
Football
Misspokements
Sports
You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is “no.”
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Religion
Sports
On how coaching an expansion team is a religious experience
There’ll be a man on the moon before he (Gaylord Perry) hits a home run.
Alvin Dark
(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball
Sports
Six years later - minutes after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin first stepped on the moon - Perry hit his first home run
That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling.
Richie Benaud
Australian cricketer & commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
No fighter comes into the ring hoping to win – he goes in hoping to win.
Henry Cooper
English boxing champion
Boxing
Misspokements
Sports
I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
Rogers Hornsby
professional baseball player
Baseball
Golf
Sports
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