Subject: Sports (Page 112)

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

sports commentator

The only way that Miami will beat Florida St. is if they outscore them.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager

We hate each other. People assume that we respect each other because we’re black. We don’t.

Canadian hockey player & commentator

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player

Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.

basketball coach

My foot said go before my brain did.

top fuel drag racer

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional… then it was too late.

American professional golfer

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.

(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

He's a leading leader on this football team.

American football coach

You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is “no.”

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

There’ll be a man on the moon before he (Gaylord Perry) hits a home run.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager

That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling.

Australian cricketer & commentator

No fighter comes into the ring hoping to win – he goes in hoping to win.

English boxing champion

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

professional baseball player