Subject: Sports » Hockey

I’m not a cancer, I’m a Gemini.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

I'm just glad it wasn't machete night.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Give blood. Play hockey. 

Hockey Sports

Lunch is on me.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Money Sports

Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded – accordion-style – back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Hockey Sports

We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

If our goalies were in a divorce case, they could sue for lack of support and be millionaires tomorrow.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

A goal, an assist and a fight.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don’t live in the fast lane – I live on the off ramp.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Life Sports

You can always get someone to do your thinking for you.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

Hmm, 600 games? What does it mean? It means I’m that much closer to getting fired.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

The remedy, right now, is two scotches and an aspirin, I think.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Have another donut you fat pig!

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner
Hockey Sports

I told her they must be all sold out.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

Since my kids were born, I put on a shield. I wanted to keep on seeing them.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Reporter to Brett Hull: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

Hull: Shoe

Canadian-born American hockey player
Hockey Sports