Subject: Sports (Page 113)

The 49ers were so badly flattened that they didn't fly back to San Francisco, they were faxed.

American sports columnist
Football Sports

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

The faster he goes, the quicker he’ll get to the pits; the slower he goes, the longer it will take.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports Time

You have to wonder what kind of chemical reactions were taking place inside Walker’s head when he said these things.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Speech Sports

I lost it in the sun!

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

You can't see a digital clock because there isn't one.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Activities Sports

Play him, fine him, and play him again.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Good pitching always stops good hitting and vice versa.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square.

Misspokements Sports

Playing middle linebacker is like walking through a lion's cage in a three-piece porkchop suit.

professional football player
Football Sports

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

My uncle always described an unforced error as his first marriage.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Marriage Sports

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses, because they will want to keep playing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

I was hoping I could still be an underwear model after my career is over.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

He's not only a lousy fighter, he's a bad actor. Louis or Marciano could have whipped him by telephone.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

If it comes down to taking care of my mother in her old age and taking care of my center fielder in his young age, I hope she understands.

Owner of the Seattle Mariners
Baseball Sports

If a coach starts listening to the fans, he ends up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports