Subject: Sports (Page 114)

I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week… he is attending the birth of his next wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

This players getting taller thing is getting out of hand. What we need to do is sink the baskets into the floor at each end of the court and recruit midgets.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Three or four plane crashes and we're in the playoffs.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of the same today.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Sports

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Trade him for a six pack — it doesn't even have to be cold.

Philadelphia Eagles coach
Football Sports

You can always spot a motorcycle racer in a restaurant; he's the one gripping his fork with the first two fingers of his left hand.

American motorcycle racer
Sports

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

Capece is kaput.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Kerry, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve made far worse calls than that.

hockey broadcaster
Hockey Sports

He won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics so he’s used to being out in front.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

One reason I never called balks is that I never understood the rule.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

The L.A. Lakers are so good they could run a fast break with a medicine ball.

Basketball Sports

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

football coach
Football Sports

If you’re going to make every game a matter of life or death, you’re going to have a lot of problems… for one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.

(1931 – ) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Wally Dallenbach's like a kite without a tail out there.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

The crowd noise has gone up several octaves since the beginning of the game!

Misspokements Sports

Saying that Howard Cosell quit commensating on boxing because it's sleazy is like saying Nixon quit politics because it's crooked.

sportswriter
Boxing Sports

A silver medal gets you as many free beers as a gold medal does.

Australian Olympic shooter
Sports

The best thing about baseball is that you can do something about yesterday tomorrow.

Venezuelan baseball player
Baseball Sports