Subject: Sports (Page 47)

When Sandy Koufax retired.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Senna’s car is absolutely unique, apart from the one following, which is identical.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Auto racing Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

There is someone warming up in the Giants’ bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Calling upon my years of experience, I froze at the controls.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Sports

Sure the fight was fixed. I fixed it with a right hand.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Now it comes to a simple equation – who can stand the heat.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field… anywhere but Philadelphia.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

She literally wiped the court with her opponent.

Misspokements Sports

He’s shown a lack of inconsistency.

Malaprops Sports

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

A rematch with Mike Tyson is as attractive as Sam Fox and Maria Whittaker put together.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

I’m having problems with my putting; but it’s the puttee, not the putter.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'm in favor of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

He can run anytime he wants; I’m giving him the red light.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Reporter: What do you think of Tiger Woods?

Lyle: I don’t know; I’ve never played there.

professional golfer
Misspokements Sports

Some people say I play erratic golf. What they mean is I frequently play lousy.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Occupations Sports Work

Once bitten, it is akin to having your neck punctured in Transylvania… there is no known antidote.

golf course architect
Golf Sports