Tennis | Just-One-Liners.com

Keyword: Tennis

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

John McEnroe

American professional tennis player

Sports Tennis

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

Mitch Hedberg

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Sports Tennis Walls

Give Chris a finger like I did and she’ll take the whole hand.

Eva Pfaff

German professional tennis player

Sports After losing to Chris (Evert) Lloyd having three set points Tennis

He offers more shots than a bar tending octopus or an allergist.

Bud Collins

American journalist & tennis broadcaster

Sports On Pete Sampras Tennis

He doesn’t cook well.

Michael Chang

American professional tennis player

Sports Tennis When asked if Pete Sampras had any weaknesses

The only thing I've noticed is that when I come into the locker room, they all bow.

Martina Navratilova

(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player

Sports Tennis When asked if she is treated like royalty

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

Lavia's Law of Tennis

Games Murphy’s Laws Sports Tennis

His left wrist is so strong that he’d knock his own teeth out if he didn’t brush them right-handed.

Bud Collins

American journalist & tennis broadcaster

Sports On Rod Laver Tennis

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

Billie Jean King

American professional tennis player

Body Sports Breasts Tennis

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.

Andy Roddick

Sports Of his defeat to Roger Federer at Wilmbledon Tennis

The Gullikson twins here; an interesting pair… both from Wisconsin.

Don Masketll

Tennis commentator

Sports Tennis

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

Amy Barnes

American comedian

Dating Relationships Sports Tennis Wimbledon

He’s got the balls and when he’s holding them he controls the tempo.

Jimmy Connors

American professional tennis player

Misspokements Sports On his defeat by Curren Tennis

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Anonymous

Definitions Sports Doubles Tennis

My potential speaks for itself.

Liliah Osterloh

professional tennis player

Misspokements Sports After finishing the year ranked 111th Tennis

I’m trying to be a good guy, and I’m not that good a guy.

John McEnroe

American professional tennis player

Sports On trying to stop his tantrums Tennis

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

Pete Sampras

American professional tennis player

Sports On his on-court philosophy Tennis

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Anonymous

Sports Tennis

My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.

Vic Braden

American tennis player, instructor & broadcaster

Sports Tennis

They should send Borg away to another planet. We play tennis. He plays something else.

Ilie Năstase

Romanian professional tennis player

Sports On Björn Borg Tennis

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

Sidney Woods

American professional tennis player

Marriage Sports Mixed doubles Tennis

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Keyword: Tennis

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

Give Chris a finger like I did and she’ll take the whole hand.

He offers more shots than a bar tending octopus or an allergist.

He doesn’t cook well.

The only thing I've noticed is that when I come into the locker room, they all bow.

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

His left wrist is so strong that he’d knock his own teeth out if he didn’t brush them right-handed.

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.

The Gullikson twins here; an interesting pair… both from Wisconsin.

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

He’s got the balls and when he’s holding them he controls the tempo.

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

My potential speaks for itself.

I’m trying to be a good guy, and I’m not that good a guy.

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.

They should send Borg away to another planet. We play tennis. He plays something else.

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.