Subject: Activities » Games

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Activities Games

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Arms Games Murphy’s Laws Things

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Games

Life’s too short for chess.

(1834 - 1884) - American born British dramatist & actor
Activities Games Life Time

Have ever played Strip Trivial Pursuit? … what that is… is you, sitting on a chair with no clothes on, feeling fat, watching someone fully clothed beat you at Trivial Pursuit.

(1981 – ) English writer, stand-up comedian & actress
Activities Games

The game [of poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Activities Games

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Activities Games Men Murphy’s Laws

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist
Activities Games

If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games People

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers – they’re going to make a game out of it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Activities Death Games People Self

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Health

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

One night I was playing poker with tarot cards; I got a full house and four people died.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Games People

The boomarang is Australia’s chief export (and then import.)

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Places

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him, but life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games

I think Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

The game of life is always called on account of darkness.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Games Life

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Games

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Activities Games Situations

Look around the table; if you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money