Subject: Sports (Page 78)

Pose nude for Playgirl? … I wouldn't pose nude for Boxing News.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

He treats us like men; he lets us wear earrings.

college football player
Football Misspokements Sports

When Lew was a twenty game winner for the Milwaukee Braves, people needed three columns for his pitching record: won, lost and relative humidity.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I don’t think this is an example of life and limb being at risk; I like the fact that our fans care.

football team president
Football Misspokements Sports

Take his body apart and see what's in it.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Hockey Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports

It was further than I thought.

Equatorial Guinea swimmer
Sports

It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.


Basketball Sports

[He’s] the ultimate player-to-be-named-later.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Misspokements Sports

He won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics so he’s used to being out in front.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I looked up in the stands and I thought I saw my wife and kids booing.

American basketball Coach
Basketball Sports

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.

golf author
Golf Sports

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

Sports

Drive: A shot that comes after the whiff and before the mulligan.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental. 

Canadian hockey player & sports reporter
Hockey Sports

His left wrist is so strong that he’d knock his own teeth out if he didn’t brush them right-handed.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Sports

If defensive linemen’s IQs were 5 points lower, they’d be geraniums.

American football player
Football Intelligence Sports

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports