Subject: Sports (Page 82)

Golfing excellence goes hand in hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.

British golf writer & commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink Golf Sports

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

I've had 117 fights and that's the first time I've ever won.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports

She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?

Toronto Maple Leafs owner
Hockey Sports

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Just give me 25 guys on the last year of their contract; I’ll win a pennant every year.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The rule was "No autopsy, no foul.”

Canadian basketball player
Basketball Sports

I’m not dropping a bar of soap in the shower near [kicker] Garo Yepremian.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

Third base is certainly a reactionary position.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

60 per cent of all the Aussies think Joe Bugner is something you find up the Queensland Premier's nose.

Sports

And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position… he’s in last place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink; no team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

When I lost my decathlon world record I took it like a man. I only cried for ten hours.

British Olympic decathlon champion
Sports

Was Wayne Gretzky sick?

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Activities Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Gentlemen, start your coffins.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Auto racing Sports

Today, Pittsburgh beat the Pirates, 6 to 6!

American sportscaster
Baseball Misspokements Sports