Subject: Sports (Page 86)

Driving a race car is like dancing with a chainsaw.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Larry Holmes doesn't hit as hard as Earnie Shavers. Nobody hits like Shavers. If anybody hit harder than Shavers, I'd shoot him.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

He’s not going to adhere himself to the fans.

English football player & manager
Malaprops Sports

A good ball club.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

You guys lineup, alphabetically by height.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

If a man can f**k and drive race cars… man… I mean, what else-is there?

American auto racer
Auto racing Sex Sports

Let me know if Cain is able.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

(1770 – 1850) English Romantic poet
Golf Sports

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut.  They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Golf Marriage Sports

Gimme:  An agreement between two losers who can't putt.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Situations Sports

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on his scorecard.

professional golfer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Sports

He's not only a lousy fighter, he's a bad actor. Louis or Marciano could have whipped him by telephone.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Don King is one of the great humanitarians of our time. He has risen above that great term, prejudice. He has screwed everybody he has ever been around. Hog, dog, or frog, it don't matter to Don. If you got a quarter, he wants the first 26 cents.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Insults Sports

Every time I sign a ball, and there have been thousands, I thank my luck that I wasn’t born Coveseski or Wambsganss or Peckinpaugh.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

When I broke in, they didn’t have bats – we just grabbed the branch of a tree.

American baseball pitcher
Age Baseball Sports

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports

Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth.

Papua New Guinean rugby player
Sports

Allen S. Sothoron pitched his initials off yesterday.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag… the pencil!

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports