Author: Classified ad Page 18

ASSFAULT ROLLERS – (2) Gallion, $750/each…

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Carpal Tunnel Syndrome – Free Sample!

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CORRECTION – Due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts Office, Diane K. Merchant, 38, [address] was incorrectly listed as being fined for prositution in Wednesday’s paper. The charge should have been failure to stop at a railroad crossing. The Public Opinion apologizes for the error.

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NEW LISTING – CARBONDALE – Move right into this 3 bedroom, 1.25 bath home, featuring foyer with split staircase, mysterious hidden commode, off street parking yard. $79,900.

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Gifts for Men – Silk Boxers – Silk Robes – Silk Pajamas – Silk G-Strings – Silk Boxer Briefs – and be sure to see our Nutcracker Shorts

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GE – Working electric self-cleaning oven/stove, $150, needs good cleaning.

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RENTALS – HOUSING TWO BEDROOM, Sublease, nice area, BARGAIN Rent. Drawback: Big hairy spiders drop off bedroom ceiling at night.

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HELP WANTED • No Bullshit

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Fresh-Cut CHRISTMAS TREES Arriving December 28th – We Carry the Fullest Freshest Trees Available…

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Lose All Your Weight, Only $49.

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Dear recently-expired subscriber…

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Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bth home.

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Cure Sleepiness Right Away – Time for Use: Long-Distance Driving, Drunk Driving, Night Driving…

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Landscaping Labor – the new Green Party…

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BAR & GRILL – Best Burger in Town – Where Quality & Freshness Counts! FREE TOMATO w/every BLT…

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Views plus spacious 1554 sq. ft. home with large lot, family room with fireplace, huge dick for entertaining? …

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Buy Any New Vehicle & Receive A Gas BBQ! – (Cost of promotion may increase price of vehicle) …

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Caffe Allegro – In downtown Middletown –Discover why so many Italians would prefer to eat at home

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EXPERIENCED NANNY – To care for 3 young kids in out house 30 hours a week. Must drive and have references. Call Christine at 305-294-….

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If you have one of these symptoms, please call this 800 number – Death, Heartburn, …

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Are all on-line realtors created equal? No, there's only one!

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