Author: Country expression Page 21

He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.

You are about as grateful as a toothache.

Slower than a bread wagon with biscuit wheels.

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.

He's gotta whole head full of simple.

Drier than lizard spit on a hot rock

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, what a Merry Christmas we’d have.

You need to count your fingers after shaking hands with him.

He ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!

Don’t pay it no never mind.

A guilty dog barks the loudest.

Jump the broomstick

He’s a good ol’ dog, but sometimes he sh*ts to close to the porch.

He could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer.

We didn't plan to take 'em to raise.

To put the spit on the apple.

He’s so skinny… looks like he swapped legs with a wasp and got cheated out of the stinger!

A trace of the uppity

Who's pluckin' this chicken, me or you?

Like a martin to his gourd

Wilder than a March hare