Author: George Burns Page 2

Of all the great qualities he had, and there were so many, there was one thing that set him apart from everybody else; he really thought I was funny.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics Self

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on… just make sure the car door is closed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Autos Sex Situations Things

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old

Nobody ever had to steal Georgie's affections – he gave them away at the drop of a skirt.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Emotions Sex

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

He was asked to throw out the first ball at a World Series game; but … he looked at the ball and, instead of throwing it, he put it in his pocket and sat down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money Sports

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke; and then she died.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment

Let me tell you about Jack's singing voice… it made his violin playing sound good.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Music

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Future Life Time

Jack was so cheap that instead of bringing his date flowers, he brought her seeds.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Money

Sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

We often think the way Gracie talks, but we pride ourselves that we never talk the way Gracie thinks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Individuals People Speech Thinking

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Sex

When he was held up by a robber who demanded, "Your money or your life?" Jack's silence while he thought it over was the funniest thing never said on radio.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment

Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting Characteristics Entertainment Honesty

He once gave Gracie a coupon for a year’s subscription to a magazine as a gift – and all she had to do was fill it out and send it in with a check.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Money

Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Music Success Things

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own Scotch, you bring your own rocks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Individuals Money People