Author: Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if… you think Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Emotions Family Happiness Mothers

You might be a redneck if… you wear someone else's work shirt.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Food/Drink Places

You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks Stupidity

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict People Rednecks Relationships

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder?… 'cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict Killing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body Drugs People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your grandfather died and left everything to his widow; but she can’t touch it until she's fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as, “the day my ship came in.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks School

You might be a redneck if… you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of Kmart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks Things

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

You might be a redneck if… directions to your house include "turn off the paved road.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Situations Work

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

You might be a redneck if… you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are," Gentlemen, start your engines."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks