Author: Noel Coward

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs God

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Insults

Just as long as the real thing and twice as noisy.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

The higher the building the lower the morals.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Characteristics Things

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

I like long walks… especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Activities People

The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Success

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

He must have been an incredibly good shot.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Intelligence

He has his head in the clouds and his feet in the box office.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Insults Reviews/Criticism

Actress Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.

Coward: And that’s just the way you’re saying them this morning.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Speech

If they'd stuffed the child's head up the horse's arse, they would have solved two problems at once.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

It's a pity you didn't have a little more brandy; it might have made you more agreeable!

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Death

Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Intelligence