Author: Paul Lynde Page 11

Peter Marshall: Paul, when the citizens of China want a drink of water, they usually do something to it first. What?

Paul Lynde: Remove the shirts.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire recently announced that after 30 years, they’re going to do something together one more time. What?

Paul Lynde: Trade hairpieces.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The great writer George Bernard Shaw once wrote, 'It's such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children.' What is it?

Paul Lynde: A whipping.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: President Washington once said quote “I would rather be in my grave than in…” what?

Paul Lynde: Grant’s tomb.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In the movies, Frankenstein’s monster was always big and ugly.  And he had lots of scars.  What was his biggest fear? 

Paul Lynde: That the girls would be turned off by his big nuts!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?

Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?

Paul Lynde: I don’t know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what Dickens classic, Paul, will you find the phrase “You may find us rough, sir, but you’ll find us ready?”

Paul Lynde: Little Women.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul…champagne glasses were designed to resemble Marie Antoinette’s bosom?

Paul Lynde: And we have Karen (Valentine) to thank for the shot glass!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Poe’s The Raven said, “Nevermore.” What did Gilbert and Sullivan’s Dickie Bird say?

Paul Lynde: Let’s not wallow in Watergate.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… every day, about 10 million American women take the pill.

Paul Lynde: And I could name 'em all!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: The Ty-De-Bowl Man.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is there anything an elephant loves more than a big bag of peanuts?

Paul Lynde: The love scenes in Dumbo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren has written a cookbook which will be published this spring entitled, “Cooking With …” Cooking with what?

Paul Lynde: Cooking with a three-foot-long spoon.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico. What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?

Paul Lynde: El Washing Machine.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:When President Nixon was in Poland recently the Polish people kept shouting, “Stolat! Stolat! Stolat!” What does “Stolat” mean?

Paul Lynde: Welcome, President Johnson

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A woman who is divorced, has a college education, and is nineteen-years-old is more like to have a certain ailment than anybody else. What ailment?

Paul Lynde: The heartbreak of psorriasis.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: During the War of 1812, Captain Oliver Perry made the famous statement, “We have met the enemy and…” What?

Paul Lynde: They are cute.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re marrying a man who’s been married before. According to the book “Everyday Ettiquette, is it all right to wear a veil?

Paul Lynde: No, I’m just gonna wear a baseball cap.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The U.S. will soon reportedly share a secret with Japan. What is it?

Paul Lynde: The location of the Pacific Fleet.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares