Author: Paul Lynde Page 12

Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, “Things aren’t always as bad as they seem if you…” Do what?

Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?

Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Fidel Castro recently gave Yugoslavia’s Marshall Tito a gift. What was it?

Paul Lynde: A cheap, hand–painted tie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Apartment Life magazine, can you tell anything significant about the personality of a person whose apartment has brown carpeting, brown furniture and brown walls?

Paul Lynde: Yes, their maid just exploded. 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “dual purpose” cattle good for that other cattle aren’t?

Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies… but I don’t recommend the cookies!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?

Paul Lynde: They’re so cold!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A woman named Jane Grey has a place of history because of something she did for 10 consecutive days that few women have ever done. What did she do? Jane Grey?

Paul Lynde: Wasn’t she married to Eddie Fisher?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Poe’s The Raven said, “Nevermore.” What did Gilbert and Sullivan’s Dickie Bird say?

Paul Lynde: Let’s not wallow in Watergate.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?

Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Whose motto is “Do Your Best?”

Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: How many movies has Vincent Price been in?

Paul Lynde: You mean, how many good movies?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the United States, what do we call the number one followed by 12 zeros?

Paul Lynde: Dean Martin And The Golddiggers.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren recently revealed that when she was a child she never played with something. What?

Paul Lynde: The L.A.Rams.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re marrying a man who’s been married before. According to the book “Everyday Ettiquette, is it all right to wear a veil?

Paul Lynde: No, I’m just gonna wear a baseball cap.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: On radio, Margo Lane knew something about young, handsome, wealthy Lamont Cranston. In fact, she knew about Lamont Cranston, things that no one else knew. What was it?

Paul Lynde: That his bellybutton was an outsie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Coronet, do most men feel uneasy around women with really large breasts?

Paul Lynde: Yes, they run for cover.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, the state flag of Alabama is all white with one very distinctive feature. What is it?

Paul Lynde: Eye holes!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Egypt, they grow a special kind of cotton that is multi-colored.

Paul Lynde: And white people have to pick it!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the Arctic, the most fearsome animal is the polar bear. What is the only thing a polar bear is afraid of?

Paul Lynde: A lonely Eskimo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Lana Turner recently said, “I won’t do it because I haven’t stopped living my life by a long shot.” What won’t she do?

Paul Lynde: The Merv Griffin show.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares