Quotes and One Liners
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Author: Paul Lynde Page 10
Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, “Dinah (Shore)’s in top form. I’ve never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a…” A what?Paul Lynde: A headboard.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Is Billy Graham considered a good dresser?Paul Lynde: No, but he’s a terrific end table.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, where at any one time will you find one quarter of the earth's population?Paul Lynde: Crossing the Rio Grande. (He pronounced it "Gran-dee," with emphasis on the first syllable)
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, “Things aren’t always as bad as they seem if you…” Do what? Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
Movie Life
magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait a while. Why? Paul Lynde: He’s out of town.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor calls it ‘the Big One,’ What is it? Paul Lynde: They both look the same to me!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher says that he hasn’t had one in eight years, but he’s looking. For what?Paul Lynde: Oh, an accompanist who takes
MasterCard.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: In the Arctic, the most fearsome animal is the polar bear. What is the only thing a polar bear is afraid of?Paul Lynde: A lonely Eskimo!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, what profession is the most common for prostitutes after they retire?Paul Lynde: Smuggling!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?Paul Lynde: An engagement ring.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: What do you call a bull that can’t have kids?Paul Lynde: Anthony Quinn.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor recently stated, “It wasn’t easy.” And hubby Richard Burton added, “But we both sleep much better.” They were both talking about the same thing. What?Paul Lynde: Separate bedrooms.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul Revere had 16 children? Paul Lynde: From ONE midnight ride?!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?Paul Lynde: A Christian.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Prehistoric man had two uses for sheep. One was for food. What was the other?Paul Lynde: Conversation.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, you have a 9 year old son who constantly wets the bed. What should you do?Paul Lynde: Get rid of him!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren has written a cookbook which will be published this spring entitled,
“Cooking With …”
Cooking with what?Paul Lynde: Cooking with a three-foot-long spoon.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: You get a headache right after romance. According to Dr. Thotusen, is there anything wrong with you?Paul Lynde: No, but I need a softer headboard.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, is it true that lightning once fused a man’s zipper shut?Paul Lynde: Yes, it was God’s way telling him to slow down.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Page 10 of 13
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