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Author: Richard Lewis Page 3
Life can be a bitch so at least try not to fall in love with one.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Life
Relationships
What’s a Jewish mobster?… ‘I’m going to break the legs of your therapist.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Conflict
People
Jewish
My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Happiness
Depression
Home movies
Joy
I can’t do two things at once; I can’t have intercourse and enjoy myself at the same time.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Happiness
My nightmares have coming attractions.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities
Sleep
Dreams
Nightmares
I have lowered my expectations, sexually; I don’t care what happens in bed anymore as long as I don’t make any grammatical errors.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex
Dealing with joy sometimes is more difficult than overcoming adversity if you enjoy self-loathng as a hobby.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Joy
Even at home, on my stationary exercise bike, I have a rearview mirror.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics
Paranoia
She said that after we had intercourse, I gave her an anti-climax.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex
Climax
Orgasm
The best tip for insomnia for me is not trying to sleep.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities
Sleep
Insomnia
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