Author: Rodney Dangerfield Page 13

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

You take care, and I hope I run into you – when I’m driving.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

With the shape I’m in, you could donate my body to science fiction.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Conflict Crime Places

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

My girlfriend was no bargain either; she used to braid her armpits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends Hair People Ugly