Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

  • Home
  • About
  • Categories

    • Activities
    • Age
    • Animals
    • Appearance
    • Beliefs
    • Characteristics
    • Communication
    • Conflict
    • Death
    • Education
    • Emotions
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Food/Drink
    • Government
    • Health
    • Intelligence
    • Life
    • Marriage
    • Miscellaneous
    • Money
    • People
    • Places
    • Problems
    • Relationships
    • Science/Weather
    • Sex
    • Situations
    • Sports
    • Success
    • Things
    • Time
    • Work
  • Additional Categories

    • Book Titles
    • Confucius say
    • Definitions
    • Epitaphs
    • Exaggerations
    • Expressions
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Insults
    • Last Words
    • Murphy's Laws
    • Place Names
    • Proverbs
    • Reviews/Criticism
    • Song Titles
    • Tom Swifties
    • TV/Movie Quotes
  • Oops...

    • Bushisms
    • Church Bulletins
    • Classified Ads
    • Colemanballs
    • Headlines
    • Malaprops
    • Misspokements
    • Signs
    • Translations
    • Yogi-isms
  • Some Popular Authors

    • Abraham Lincoln
    • Alfred E. Neuman
    • Ambrose Bierce
    • Benjamin Franklin
    • Dave Barry
    • Demetri Martin
    • Dorothy Parker
    • Emo Phillips
    • George Carlin
    • Groucho Marx
    • H.L. Mencken
    • Homer Simpson
    • Jeff Foxworthy
    • Jimmy Carr
    • Joan Rivers
    • Mae West
    • Mark Twain
    • Mitch Hedberg
    • Oscar Wilde
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Richard Lewis
    • Rita Rudner
    • Rodney Dangerfield
    • Steven Wright
    • Stewart Francis
    • W.C. Fields
    • Will Rogers
    • Woody Allen
  • View All Authors

Keyword: Milk

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Rita Rudner
(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time Milk

It was a brave person who first looked at a cow and said, ‘I think I’ll just squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out.’

Peter Kay
(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Animals Food/Drink Cows Milk

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Food/Drink Laughter Milk Nose

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Food/Drink Health Babies Illness Milk

There are three reasons for breastfeeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it.

Irena Chalmers
(1935 – ) London-born American author & food commentator
Family Food/Drink Mothers Breastfeeding Milk

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?

Billy Connolly
(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Animals Cows Disovery Milk

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

Ogden Nash
(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Food/Drink Cow Milk













Copyright © Just-One-Liners.com