Subject: Activities » Housework

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

It's better to have loved and lost than do forty pounds of laundry a week.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter

Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house?… look inside your pants and if you find a penis in there, it's not time.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Whatever arrangement you make for the division of household duties, your husband's job will be easier.

I used to live with five straight guys and – ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.'


Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.

(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

There is always more dirty laundry than clean laundry.

Nature abhors a vacuum… and so do I.

American cartoonist & greeting card illustrator

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

I’m eighteen years behind on my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

I am a marvelous housekeeper; every time I leave a man I keep his house.

(1917 – ) Hungarian-born American actress