Subject: Activities » Housework

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

The man has not been born for whom I will iron a shirt.

(1939 – ) English actress

I’m eighteen years behind on my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be; no one cares, why should you?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house?… look inside your pants and if you find a penis in there, it's not time.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.


Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist

My second favorite household chore is ironing, my first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

I used to think about Cindy Crawford; now, I think about leaving dishes in the sink overnight without a war breaking out.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Housekeeping ain't no joke.

(1832 – 1888) novelist

I used to live with five straight guys and – ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.'


There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

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