Subject: Activities » Drugs

President Bush wants to spend $7 billion this year to fight the drug dealers in Colombia… but they only earn $3 billion a year; so why don't we pay them $4 billion a year not to grow the cocaine?

American comedian & writer
Drugs Money Places

If I seem out of it tonight, it's 'cause I'm hooked on phonics.

comedian
Communication Drugs Language

I’ve never had a problem with drugs… I’ve had problems with the police.

(1943 – ) English musician, songwriter & member of the Rolling Stones
Activities Drugs

Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage

Drugs Headlines Health

They don't mind after they find out they don't have to study for it.

American football coach
Drugs Football Sports

When I was on acid, I’d see things like beams of light and I’d hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Autos Drugs Situations

A British newspaper published a photo of Michael Phelps inhaling from a marijuana pipe; Phelps says he only took one hit, but he held it for three minutes.

(1952 – ) American fitness coach & educator
Activities Drugs

If I drop out of school, where am I gonna find drugs?

Palestinian/American comedian
Activities Drugs School Situations

I’m addicted to placebos; I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t make any difference.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Drugs

Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare with the guns, the gangs, the drugs – and I'm home schooling them.

American comedian & writer
Conflict Drugs Education Places

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Exercise Money

I went on a job interview and the lady asked me if I’d pass a drug test; I said, “Yeah, if it’s written.”

American comedian
Drugs Work

There are three side effects of acid; enhanced long term memory, decreased short term memory… and I forget the third.


Activities Drugs Intelligence Memory

I'm not addicted to cocaine… I just like the way it smells.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Activities Drugs

I also smoke a lot of pot… occasionally… every day.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? … asking for myself.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Activities Age Drugs

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities America Drugs Education People

I believed in drug testing a long time ago… all through the Sixties I tested everything.

American baseball pitcher
Activities Baseball Drugs Sports

So drug dealers don’t find it funny when you ask for a receipt?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Situations

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Alcohol Church Bulletins Drugs

I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be able to physically survive the amount of dope I would need to smoke in order to visit a shoe museum?

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Situations