Subject: Activities » Sleep (Page 4)

There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Sleep

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

Situations Sleep

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Sleep Time

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life Situations Sleep

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Life Sleep

I wrote my nightmares out this afternoon so I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

Don't worry, I'm merely catching up with sleep.

Epitaphs Situations Sleep

I haven’t been to sleep for over a year; that’s why I go to bed early… one needs more rest if one doesn’t sleep.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Activities Sleep

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.

(1879 – 1949) Irish writer
Activities Sleep

I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows; when I woke up, my pillow was missing.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Situations Sleep

If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Animals Sleep

I was once arrested for walking in someone else’s sleep.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Sleep

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Situations Sleep

My nightmares have coming attractions.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

Ironic how you can’t get kids out of their beds in the morning but you can’t get them into their beds at night.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Children Family Situations Sleep

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man tired in mid afternoon.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sleep

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Situations Sleep

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Health Intelligence Situations Sleep Wealth

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Sleep

Some people talk in their sleep; lecturers talk while other people sleep.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Communication Situations Sleep Speech