Subject: Activities » Sleep (Page 2)

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Activities Age Old Sleep

I asked my wife, “last night, were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex Sleep

I make no bones about it; I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Sleep

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Situations Sleep Speech

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Health Situations Sleep

I wrote my nightmares out this afternoon so I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Activities Sleep

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

Situations Sleep

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Food/Drink Situations Sleep

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Problems Sleep

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Situations Sleep

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations Sleep Work

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

My friend has difficulty sleeping, but I can do it with my eyes closed.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Situations Sleep

I was once arrested for walking in someone else’s sleep.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Sleep

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Sleep Time

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Mistakes Situations Sleep

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Sleep

I’m not a very good sleeper, but you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.

(1982 – ) American author
Activities Sleep