Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
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(Page 22)
TURKEY – FOR SALE. Partially eaten. Only eight days old. Both drumsticks still intact. $23.00 OBO
For sale
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Display PostScript running under the Windows windowing system demonstrates the ability to display OpenStep applications inside Windows windows, alongside native Windows applications. This seamless window system integration is a milestone in porting to Windows and demonstrates that OpenStep for Windows will be a good Windows citizen.
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Why not have the kids shot for Easter, or have a family portrait taken? What have you got to lose?
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Nemesis Wanted: I’m 5’10”, into kayaking, books and conversation (by day), justice, honour and vengeance (by night). Seeking arch-enemy, possibly crimelord or deformed megalomaniac. Call…
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Spakling Wines – with Iron Horse Vineyards – a blend of 30% Chardonnay…
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If You Had No Idea What To Get Her For Valentine’s Day… Imagine How Overwhelming Arranging Her Funeral Would Be. Give her the perfect gift, make pre-arrangements as a couple with the affordable funeral home. Choose from affordable funeral services or affordable cremations. Compassion is our passion…
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Wanted: Satellite Installer
Help wanted
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My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?).
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From Craig’s List
Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bth home.
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Buy a 3-Piece Livingroom Set – Get a 3-Piece Glass and Brass End Table…
For sale
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Design House Furniture Galleries FATHER’S DAY CHAIR SALE 30 to 50 % off list price – Give Father His Own Electric Chair…
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FOR SALE BY OWNER – Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
For sale
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$5.95 -or- $15/mo.
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?
Get 50% off or half price, whichever is less.
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Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.
For sale
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You’re all invited to Steak & Shrimp – Every Friday Night – 5:30 pm – 10 pm – Have Some Fun!! Bring A Gun!! Cash Can Be Won!! At Our Trap Range…
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WAITRESS NEEDED. Must be 18 years old with 20 years experience. Apply in person Carnation Restaurant.
Help wanted
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Get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
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Buy 1,000 Large Pizzas – Receive 1,000 Medium Pizzas – FREE!
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Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7–$9 per hour.
Help wanted
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SEE-THRU WINDOWS – Your Quality Windows & Door Experts – It’s time to replace those drafty, energy-wasting windows & doors…
For sale
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Page 22 of 27
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