Subject: Classifieds (Page 22)

Bald, fat, short, and ugly male, 53, seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.

Classifieds

The Most Romantic Love Songs of the ‘50s: Including 16 Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford

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’06 Frod Focus $9,999

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WANTED: Part-Time secretary with wisdom of Deborah, dedication of Dorcas, stay cool under fire like Shadrach, imagination of the prophets, capabilities of all scribes.

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Shakespeare's Pizza – Free Chopsticks

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2009 Happy New Years Special – Be Fit! Be Strong! – Taekwondo classes… Cardio Dick Boxing classes…

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XXLarge Nursing Uniform, Never been washed.

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Food Stamps Excepted [sic]

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PREGNANT PYGMY goats. Two males, 2 and 3 years old. 237-….

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Wanted: Hard working, experienced farm woman. Household and field work; know how to cook; must own tracter –- send photo of tractor.

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Mrs. Jody Defries is pleased to announce the arrival of Elijah Joel – 8 pounds 10 ounces… and the loss of twenty pounds.

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ATTORNEY WANTED that is not a liar or a thief. Phone…

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Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

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Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

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PRO PAIN TANK – Camping Size. $20 (408)266-….

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LOST • MISSING DOG: Small Golden Brown Palm Iranian lost in Gramercy. If you have any information, please call 869-….

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Landscaping Labor – the new Green Party…

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ASSFAULT ROLLERS – (2) Gallion, $750/each…

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Display PostScript running under the Windows windowing system demonstrates the ability to display OpenStep applications inside Windows windows, alongside native Windows applications. This seamless window system integration is a milestone in porting to Windows and demonstrates that OpenStep for Windows will be a good Windows citizen.

Classifieds

My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?).

Classifieds

To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.

Classifieds Misspokements Stupidity