Subject: Classifieds (Page 26)

Pollard Used Cars – Limited Time Offer! – $299 per month – For the Rest of Your Life

COME TO WORK for Subway and have your dreams crushed like the rest of us. Weekends required. 941-…. after 2 pm.

WANTED – Workaholic for special department, all shifts. Highly reliable – no vacation or sick leave. Must be flexible, intelligent and friendly.

Finally – a calculator that has no equal.

200 PLAYBOY MAGAZINES & other Adult Magazines, will trade for guns. Call…

Ploughing the loneliest furrow. Nineteen personal ads and counting. Only one reply. It was my mother telling me not to forget the bread on my way home from B&Q. Man, 51.

Corduroy Pillows: They're making headlines!

Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vagetables, salads, quiche.

2 wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15

Paint job, $220. Come in for a free estimate.

Mrs. Jody Defries is pleased to announce the arrival of Elijah Joel – 8 pounds 10 ounces… and the loss of twenty pounds.

1 man, 7 woman hot tub – $850/offer

COCKTAIL LOST in King St. area. Call 616-….

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Smith & Wesson – For the Bride To Be! – Model 642 .38 Special $419.97, Save $50…

Lustful? Sinful? Sexual? These are all words not used in conjunction with my feeble, limp form for at least 32 years. You are a woman to 40 with high class looks and low class mind. I am an ever growing vessel of limp wristed sexual energy just waiting to be shook. You may call me sir. box no. 32/02

MUST SELL: 3 Grave Spaces in Laureland, very reasonable. Plus air conditioner.

SPANISH TOOTER NEEDED FOR A 7 year old student, learn to speak and write fluently. Call after 6 pm. 467-….

Cows, calves never bred… also 1 gay bull for sale.

Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required.

Wanted: Hard working, experienced farm woman. Household and field work; know how to cook; must own tracter –- send photo of tractor.