Subject: Classifieds (Page 27)

Lustful? Sinful? Sexual? These are all words not used in conjunction with my feeble, limp form for at least 32 years. You are a woman to 40 with high class looks and low class mind. I am an ever growing vessel of limp wristed sexual energy just waiting to be shook. You may call me sir. box no. 32/02

Classifieds

And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Classifieds

FREE TO A GOOD HOME: Shemale Jack Russell Terrier, 14 mos., has shots, needs fenced yard. 619-445-….

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Rattle snake 4 months old, good play thing for kids 10 yrs to 80 yrs. 6.5 H.P. go-cart $795. Will hold till X0-mas. Also, chain saw. Call…

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UPTIGHT GRAND PIANO HARRINGTON. $150/…

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Free internet access … $99.

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WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box ###, Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

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FOR RENT: 6 room hated apartment.

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Wanted: Lifeguard. Must be able to swim.

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2009 Happy New Years Special – Be Fit! Be Strong! – Taekwondo classes… Cardio Dick Boxing classes…

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PART-TIME HELP WANTED. Must have creative skills, drivers license and car with outgoing personality

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Gifts for Men – Silk Boxers – Silk Robes – Silk Pajamas – Silk G-Strings – Silk Boxer Briefs – and be sure to see our Nutcracker Shorts

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RENTALS – HOUSING TWO BEDROOM, Sublease, nice area, BARGAIN Rent. Drawback: Big hairy spiders drop off bedroom ceiling at night.

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HAVE VIAGRA. Need woman. Any women between 18 & 80. PO Box ###. Boise, ID 83701.

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Philanthropy is my middle name. It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free rides. You can call me Mr Wallace. My first name is none of your business. Applications to box no. 9741.

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MATH TUDAR NEEDED for Intermediate Algebra, needed ASAP! Call…

Classifieds

My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?).

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Smith & Wesson – For the Bride To Be! – Model 642 .38 Special $419.97, Save $50…

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Friday, March 27 – Lenten Fish Dinner – St. Ann Parrish – Tickets can be purchased at the door or by calling Christ at 522 -….

Classifieds