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Confucius say… man who sleep like a baby doesn’t have one.

Confucius say… man who masturbate only screwing himself.

Confucius say… undertakers are nice – they're the last to let people down.

Confucius say… woman who loses wedding ring in kitchen, should remove her drawers.

Confucius say… kiss on the lips is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

Confucius say… the useless skin around a penis is called a man.

Confucius say… man who look to fortune cookie for advice probably make good busboy… ask waitress for application.

Confucius say… if you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

Confucius say… putting teenager in prison, won't stop his face from breaking out.

Confucius say… old grave digger is called an elderberry.

Confucius say… to circumcise whale, send down four skin divers.

Confucius say… woman who is wallflower at party, dandelion in bed.

Confucius say… before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter.

Confucius say… honor your personality flaws, for without them, you would have no personality at all.

Confucius say… transvestite is one who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

Confucius say… cross eyed teacher cannot control pupils.

Confucius say… rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

Confucius say… who dates dynamite lady, gets big bang out of her.

Confucius say… she who douches with vinegar, walk around with sour puss.

Confucius say… if you do not wish get to the point, never play leap frog with a unicorn.

Confucius say… if you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.