Subject: Definitions (Page 19)

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Counterfeiter: A guy who gets into trouble by following a good example.

Definitions

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.

Autos Definitions Things

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Selfishness: Annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.

Definitions

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Definitions

Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Animals Definitions

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Logic: The art of going wrong with confidence.

Definitions

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Argument: An exchange of ignorance.

Definitions

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions