Subject: Definitions (Page 23)

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Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Mind

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.

Definitions

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Fitness: Salvation through perspiration.

Definitions

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Definitions

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Communication Definitions Speech

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Definitions Science/Weather

Bum: A man-about-town.

Definitions

Cross-Eyed Teacher: A teacher that loses control over his or her pupils.

Definitions

Star: A performer who makes more than his or her agent.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Definitions People