Keyword: Pain

It only hurt once… from beginning to end.

(1920 – 2004) American swimming coach

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

(1925 – 2005) television host

I'm not into working out; my philosophy: No pain, no pain.

comedian, writer, actor & producer

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine… look into that second, less painful career.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

Pain is only temporary, no matter how long it lasts.

American football player

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

(1925 – 2005) television host

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them… but do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho

They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth; but they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

The difference between the mile and the marathon is the difference between burning your fingers with a match and being slowly roasted over hot coals.

American author & runner

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is; I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they' ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast; turned out to be a trick knee.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

A little pain never hurt anyone.