Subject: Entertainment

A musical is a series of catastrophes ending with a floor show.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend – if you have one.

Churchill’s reply: Impossible to be present for the first performance; will attend second – if there is one.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Entertainment Insults People

Applause is a receipt, not a note of demand.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
President Television

Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Music Success Things

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings… Boy With Pail… Kitten On Fire.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

I don’t like my music, but what is my opinion against that of millions of others.

(1904 – 1988) Austrian-American composer
Entertainment Music People Self

My greatest acting performance is when I check the caller ID, then adopt an air of polite curiosity as I answer the phone “Hello?”

(1973 – ) animator, writer, actor & producer
Acting Entertainment

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

Try everything once except incest and folk dancing.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Life

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Music

Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting Characteristics Entertainment Honesty

The last time I acted my name was so low on the program that I was getting orders for the printing.

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment

A great actress, from the waist down.

(1848 – 1935) English actress
Acting Insults

If it's a good script I'll do it; and if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Film Money

A composer for one right hand.

(1813 – 1883) German composer, conductor, theatre director & essayist
Entertainment Insults Music

The titles are listed on the movie theater marquis.

Entertainment Malaprops

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments – the very lower bowel of music.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment Music

Comedy is tragedy plus time!

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Entertainment TV/Movie Quotes

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Entertainment