Subject: Entertainment » Television

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Entertainment Television

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Television

Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Entertainment Film Television

If the World Series goes seven games, it will be NBC's longest running show this fall.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Entertainment Television

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Entertainment Television

Television? … The word is half Latin and half Greek; no good can come of it.

(1846 – 1932) British journalist, publisher & politician
Entertainment Television

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Entertainment Sex Television

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

Entertainment Headlines Television

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes

You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Age Old People Television

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Television

I know what the public want because I am one of them.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
Entertainment Film People Television

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Government Military Television

It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of “Law & Order” in my apartment.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Entertainment Television

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Activities Exercise Television

Marriage is like having cable with one channel.

(Nathaniel Stroman) (1963 – ) American actor, voice artist & comedian
Entertainment Marriage Television

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Entertainment Football Television

I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence; they got one marked “brightness” but it don’t work, does it?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Communication Entertainment Language Television