Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 5)

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Memory Television

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Entertainment Men People Television

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Entertainment Golf Old Television

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Entertainment Television

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Entertainment Television

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Education Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Entertainment Food/Drink Sports Television

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Entertainment Misspokements Television

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
President Television

If the World Series goes seven games, it will be NBC's longest running show this fall.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Entertainment Television

The one function that TV news performs very well is that, when there is no news, we give it you with the same emphasis as if there were.

(1920 – 2003) American television newscaster
Entertainment Television

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

Martha Stewart’s a convicted felon and they gave her another television show… what’s next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Entertainment Television

Remember that show My Three Sons? … it’d be funny if it was called My One Dad.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Television

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Television TV/Movie Quotes

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Television: A watching machine.

Entertainment Television

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Television