Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 2)

Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of “Law & Order” in my apartment.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t; I don’t know if it’s the way you say it, or how you look.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art; now we have something to look down on.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

My Comedy Channel – Fox News

My News Channel Comedy Central

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author

Television: A watching machine.

I love sports; whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.