Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 5)

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Art Entertainment Life Television

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment Television

I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Television

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Television TV/Movie Quotes

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Entertainment Places Television

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.

sportswriter
Auto racing Entertainment Sports Television

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good – we want it Tuesday.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

Marriage is like having cable with one channel.

(Nathaniel Stroman) (1963 – ) American actor, voice artist & comedian
Entertainment Marriage Television

TV: a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville; we call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Entertainment Television

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Sports Television

I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Conversation Entertainment Television

You don't even know what they're selling until the very end: three rabbits are on a log, and one of them goes home and hangs himself – 'Buy a bike!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Entertainment Television

Martha Stewart’s a convicted felon and they gave her another television show… what’s next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Entertainment Television

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back… luckily, I was the one facing the telly.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Entertainment Situations Television

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday… so I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Television Things

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
President Television

Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Television

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment People Television